Day 2: List Your Fears and Explain Them

You know, I’m almost ashamed to put my fears down on keyboard for you all…Everytime I list them people look at me like I’m some moron. I must remind you all though, fears are unique to the person that holds them. So here goes something…

Fear #1: Birds

When I say birds, yes, I’m talking ducks, canary’s, cockatoos, the works people. However, the larger the bird the more terrified I get. Geese, get out of here, but Ostrich…dear lord save me. The Ostrich is one creepy talon away from being a modern day Valociraptor. No thank you!

My explanation behind this totally rational fear happened over a decade and a half ago. When I was five or six years old my cat Jasmine Hotcakes Cutler ripped the wing off of a cardinal. Not a cardinal that lives in Italy and hangs with the Pope, but a real tangible bird cardinal. After she did this cruel wing ripping, my parents put me in charge of boxing up the disgusting little creature. As I was trying to save its disgusting little life the damn thing pecked me with its beak. I threw it in the box and put it on top of a ladder in my garage. It died a few days later. From then on I wanted nothing to do with birds anywhere. If I walk by a dead bird I will literally scream and shudder at the sight of it. Funny enough, I’m slightly more terrified of the dead ones than the live ones.

Fear #2: Midgets

As a child this fear was way more intense, but as I’ve grown this fear has begun to diminish. I’m not sure if it’s just because we’re no longer the same height or if it’s because I’ve gained a bit of compassion for their disability. Nonetheless, when I was a whopping 4 years old I was grocery shopping with my mother. After we had checked out and started exiting the store I saw this little person, who’s name was Keith and just so happened to be a family friend, and commented rather loudly on how strange I found his large head and little body to be. This little person/boy chased me out of the grocery store faster than a horse out of the cage at a race. I had to climb onto a cement light post just to get away from him. My mom had to come out and scold him and apologize at the the same time. All of this information has come straight from the brain of a then terrified 4 year old and my mother, the witness. Sure, my whole family thinks it’s hysterical now, but golly gee wiz how scary right!?

That’s it though folks, my two very rational fears. I mean I can’t really discriminate against anyone else’s fears but atleast I’m not deathly afraid of urban legends or monsters under my bed…my fears are totally rational.

Let me know what you’re afraid of though!


6 thoughts on “Day 2: List Your Fears and Explain Them

  1. Haha… Here I am scrolling through students who might have posted thier blogs already so that I can leave my mandatory weekly comment when I come across yours. I see the date, April 2nd, and think, “Sweet, I can comment on this one,” expecting to read about some blogging advice. Instead I come across your deep dark fear of bird and midgets… quite the light-hearted break i needed from the otherwise boring blogs I’ve been scrolling through. However, since I am here, I figured I might as well leave a comment. I think it’s ironic and amusing that you are more scared of birds as they get bigger but more scared of humans as they get smaller. How ’bout a midget riding an ostrich? Ha.. had to throw that one in there, but since I’ve ripped your legitimate fears apart I guess I’ll leave mine; murky water, and brain aneurysms… mainly the first one. If I can’t see what’s swimming below me I want no part of it. Thanks for the comic relief tonight! Good post!

    • Haha a midget riding an ostrich sounds beyond terrifying. And just for the record, that post will count as one of your mandatory comments for the week. Glad you liked my fears, and I agree…murky water, AHHHHHHH. I believe in the great alligator of Lake Placid.

      • Haha, I was going to say alligators and aneurysms, but I wasn’t sure if you’d get my Archer reference… So murky water it is. And oh yeah, it’s already posted to my comments page!

  2. You were chased by a midget?! You should watch this video: what would you do? As for me, my biggest fear is wasps, hornets, and bees. Really any insect with a stinger. I was probably four or five and playing on my dad’s old tractor in the farm lot. I was pushing levers, turning the wheel, and pretending like you do when you’re four or five. Suddenly, a swarm of wasps came up from under the console controls and absolutely rocked my world. Dad said he heard shrieks and screams and now almost twenty years later I’m still running far away from stingered insects.

    • That’s hilarious! Seriously though…it’s the terrifying things that happen to you as children that will scar you for the rest of your life, no matter how ridiculous they are now. I’m always like “why the hell am I afraid of birds? They’re so dumb and insignificant.” But at the end of the day that doesn’t make me any less terrified of them haha.

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