You know, I’m almost ashamed to put my fears down on keyboard for you all…Everytime I list them people look at me like I’m some moron. I must remind you all though, fears are unique to the person that holds them. So here goes something…
Fear #1: Birds
When I say birds, yes, I’m talking ducks, canary’s, cockatoos, the works people. However, the larger the bird the more terrified I get. Geese, get out of here, but Ostrich…dear lord save me. The Ostrich is one creepy talon away from being a modern day Valociraptor. No thank you!
My explanation behind this totally rational fear happened over a decade and a half ago. When I was five or six years old my cat Jasmine Hotcakes Cutler ripped the wing off of a cardinal. Not a cardinal that lives in Italy and hangs with the Pope, but a real tangible bird cardinal. After she did this cruel wing ripping, my parents put me in charge of boxing up the disgusting little creature. As I was trying to save its disgusting little life the damn thing pecked me with its beak. I threw it in the box and put it on top of a ladder in my garage. It died a few days later. From then on I wanted nothing to do with birds anywhere. If I walk by a dead bird I will literally scream and shudder at the sight of it. Funny enough, I’m slightly more terrified of the dead ones than the live ones.
Fear #2: Midgets
As a child this fear was way more intense, but as I’ve grown this fear has begun to diminish. I’m not sure if it’s just because we’re no longer the same height or if it’s because I’ve gained a bit of compassion for their disability. Nonetheless, when I was a whopping 4 years old I was grocery shopping with my mother. After we had checked out and started exiting the store I saw this little person, who’s name was Keith and just so happened to be a family friend, and commented rather loudly on how strange I found his large head and little body to be. This little person/boy chased me out of the grocery store faster than a horse out of the cage at a race. I had to climb onto a cement light post just to get away from him. My mom had to come out and scold him and apologize at the the same time. All of this information has come straight from the brain of a then terrified 4 year old and my mother, the witness. Sure, my whole family thinks it’s hysterical now, but golly gee wiz how scary right!?
That’s it though folks, my two very rational fears. I mean I can’t really discriminate against anyone else’s fears but atleast I’m not deathly afraid of urban legends or monsters under my bed…my fears are totally rational.
Let me know what you’re afraid of though!